Personal Note from Patrick, the Editor

Hi Reader, you know that sustainability is easier when done together.

Whether it’s finding allies, getting a helping hand, or obtaining numbers from administration.

However, getting there often requires us to ask others for support - something many people find uncomfortable or difficult.

So let me share 5 tips that I commonly use to make it easier:

Number of the Day

A very common concept in communications training is the 7-38-55 model. It essentially suggests that we only convey 7% of our message through words, while tone of voice accounts for 38% and body language for 55%. The numbers are obviously not accurate, but the pitch of our voice, the pace at which we speak, and the way we behave do matter. Luckily, you normally get them automatically right if you believe in your message (or your question), and the following should allow you to do so:

55

How to Ask Others Effectively

I would argue that we don’t ask often enough. People are ready to give so much more than you think.

Indeed, we don’t want to bother others - in reality, though, others feel good when they can help someone.

In fact, the bigger problem is often that we don’t know how to ask properly. What matters is to:

1. Shift your mindset from worry to focusing on technical expertise
2. Have a structure you can trust
3. Have a strategy to create more effective asks

So, let’s see how we can improve that:

Be Specific

Don’t “ask for help.” If you do it right, you ask for a specific action.

Be precise, because then you will get what you really need:

• If it’s a number, add which year it should be from, in what unit, and where they should get it from.
• If it’s approval, add what exact change you are proposing and how you intend to implement it.
• If it’s a helping hand, add what exactly you need them to do and how they should do it.

Being specific makes the request more focused – and it’s easier to say yes to a smaller ask.

Furthermore, as you’ve already done much of the thinking for your counterpart, it’s easier for them to take action.

Say When

You must let people know when you need them to do something.

If you don’t add a concrete time or date, their yes gives you an intention, not a commitment.

A deadline creates responsibility and commitment:

Even in conversations, a “can you tell me now ... [insert question] ...?” can sometimes be effective.

If you are still planning, give them a timeframe (maximum one week) or mention a tentative date.

Choose the Right Language

Respect differences in culture and perception, and let them shape the words you use.

Your nationality, your gender, your seniority/experience, and your personality make you perceive the world fundamentally differently.

If you don’t clearly say what is on your mind and use words that the other person understands in the same way, your conversation partner will likely end up confused.

And nobody says yes when they are confused.

Don’t say “this could save some resources”; say how much money or plastic it could save based on what matters to them.

And while you should stay polite, remember the first point: be direct in what you ask for. No shyness.

Prepare Your Ask

Asking is not always trivial. Take some time and think your question through.

A) Reflect on the Circumstances

• What are the priorities of the person you are talking to? What are their challenges or limitations?
• What background information do you need to provide?
• Is there something you still need to find out? What don’t you know?

B) Frame Your Question Properly

• Why are you asking?
• What have you already considered? Should you acknowledge the other person’s circumstances or previous efforts?
• What is the intended outcome and benefit?

C) Structure Your Ask

• What do you say first?
• What words and phrases (pitch and tempo) should you use?
• When should you ask?
• What objections should you anticipate?

This structure will help you feel calmer and more comfortable going into the conversation.

Direct Your Ask Properly

Sometimes, asking is an art. Especially if you are uncertain or have a difficult ask, it’s advisable to use open-ended questions.

• Don’t ask whether others will help you; ask when they are able to help.
• Don’t ask whether others agree; ask what they think about your idea.
• Don’t ask whether others have an idea; ask how they would approach finding a solution.

An open-ended question gets people to think. Thinking makes them involved. Involvement encourages empathy.

The exception: When you are asking for approval, make it easy for others to just say yes.

Applying the Knowledge

When you truly think about your requests, you are no longer “selfish.”

You are now engaging with the other person and the larger goal.

This makes you feel better and ensures that those replying positively will stick to their word.

However, please don’t measure your success solely by getting a “yes.” Focus just as much on what new information you are able to gain.

Still, clearly differentiate what and whom you are asking in order to properly balance your effort and emotional involvement.

If you are looking for a long-term ally, you should approach the situation differently than if you search for a helping hand.

How We Feel Today

If you have a wish or a question, feel free to reply to this Email.
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Otherwise, wish you a beautiful week!
See you again on the 14th : )

Find the previous lesson click - here -​

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Edited by Patrick Penndorf
Connection@ReAdvance.com
Lutherstraße 159, 07743, Jena, Thuringia, Germany
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